April 13th, 2005
finally~
as you guys know i am trying to shift to another course but to no avail 
this summer is practically hell! i've been going in and out of my university for 2 weeks now begging them to let me take the shifter's exam, and still there's no progress. i am thinking that all my effort's are futile, i just have to face the truth. i dont have a chance anymore. and you know what the most embarrassing thing was... i even cried infront of all the staff in that college when they told me that i didnt make it in the cut-off. i promised myself that i am not going to cry if anything bad happens but at that moment i couldnt help myself, i just felt my tears flowing down. they gave me another chance if i write to the dean and explain my side maybe, just maybe i'll make it. damn it... i feel so hopeless and frack helpless. i hate this feeling, i hate this, i hate this.
oh and to add up, did i mention that i felt so alone during the whole expirience? No. this is not one of Cle's drama this is for real. dont you just hate it when people tell you that they love you and is concerned about you? just last month i've been getting tons of them and now where are those people? (putcha kung alam nyo lang kung anong pinagdadaanan ko ngayon!) i mean why is it always like this, when i say those words i mean it, i do it, i do make the person feel that i give a damn about him/her when ever he or she needs someone. but now again where are these people?!!!! maybe i should stop being like that what do you think? i've had enough. (nasasaktan na kasi ako eh.)
to who ever's reading this entry thank you. i do hope you understand.
